Ive been testy lately... and mean and just stupid.
Im getting divorced because my husband was abusive and cheated on me. On top of that hes been playing my mom by making her feel bad for him. This ends in me beiung called a whore and worthless... Cunt, bitch, piece of shit, and being told i dont deserve to be alive anymore. Shes threatened to beat the shit out of me and almost beat my door off the hinges... All over something so stupid. Shes mad at me for going to work. BEcause I have a job and wanted to go to work on time instead of waiting for her to be ready to leave (which would have made me 2 hours LATER than I was)
Ive been fairly suicidal and trying to keep my head above water. I have been going through a divorce for about five months and in that time I met someone I really care about. He has made me feel like Im worth something and have meaning... My self-confidence and self-esteem were so high.... and it took three days of my mom being home from where ever she goes when she leaves... to destroy three months of positivity i had found. This caused be to be fairly harsh on people when i was frustrated and Im sorry. I can barely handle just being anymore. Ive had four panick attacks over things im normally so good with... I started bawling while hanging out with my friends because I lost a group that was really important to me... Im sorry everyone I really am.
Im trying so hard to be a good person and to focus on the good... but I reeally just feel like shit.... I have cut recently... and the only reason im here is because ty found out and came over quick enough... Im not doing this for anything and Ill probably delete this later. I just needed to vent...